WITHOUT A PADDLE (2004)/ANACONDAS: THE HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHIRD (2004)
Summerization: Another great double feature. Without A Paddle is about three 20-something friends who go on an adventure in search of lost treasure. It's just like The Goonies but in the woods, no pirates and more weed. Anacondas is about a group of scientists who go looking for a flower and get eaten by giant snakes.
Why It's Awesome: Aside from the actual details to the story these movies are damn near identical. Idiots rent a water vessel to look for something in the woods/jungle. They go over a waterfall and the vessel gets destroyed, leaving the idiots to bumble around for an hour before everything works out.
Matthew Lillard, Seth Green and Dax Shapard. If you're not fans of them individually, you might be so collectively. I love a good bromantic comedy, and at it's core, that's what Without A Paddle is. Dax teaches us how to shine trout. Seth gets mistaken for a bear cub. Matt Lillard is Matt Lillard. Burt Reynolds maybe never got out of the woods in Deliverance and now he'll shoot your testicles off, stuff 'em and mount 'em on his mantelpiece. Plus the guys run through a field of burning weed. It's fucking awesome.
The lead in Anacondas is kinda awesome. He's the the hero face and the hero voice. Anacondas kill some people. There's a really cool scene of a snake in the water weaving through a line of people wading by it. The villain gets paralyzed by a spider then eaten alive, that's pretty awesome. The same thing happens to Morris Chestnut.
Quote: "Okay, that's it. For the past four hours I've been within sniffing distance of a sweaty ballsack and a sweaty ballsack, and that's it, I'm out."
Best Time To Watch: Start in the afternoon or evening. Move the TV outside to experience nature. Goes great with BBQ.
Quality: 4 outta 5 Paddles and 2 out of 4 special flowers.
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