Sunday, August 1, 2010

Johnny Recommends THE FIFTH ELEMENT To Watch This Summer

Summerization: Mila Jovavich plays Leeloo, the 5th element, and perfect human. Her conscious is expanded so far she acts savage and speaks a perfect language that no one can comprehend. Gary Oldman shows up to kill her or capture her or something and John McClain as Bruce Willis is the only thing that can save her. Then when she’s saved she’s the only one who can save all life everywhere by using her mouth as an energy cannon. So we all kinda owe Bruce Willis a little more than Mel Gibson. Oh, and Chris Tucker plays Ruby Red, a radio personality (because radio is making a comeback and will never die, idiots), with a penis shaped hair style.

Why It's Awesome:For some reason, someone thought Bruce Willis should go blond for this. Well, it’s forgivable as he’s obviously having a blast with the material and its infectious. Luke Perry has a scene at the beginning, so that’s awesome for him. Gary Oldman plays the heavy and he has a lot of fun. Mila Jovavich is also as nekked and showing as much skin as allowed in a PG-13 film. I’m talking about side boob/nipple here. There’s also some very awesome music, creatures, spaceships and flying car chases. The whole thing just has awesome style. And it’s directed by Luc Basson of The Professional fame. Did I mention that Chris Tucker also has a dildo sprouting from his forehead?

Quote: "I don't want one position, I want ALL positions!"

Best Time To Watch: Really good for dinner and a movie. Great for viewing on a warm Sunday evening.

Quality: 5 outta 5 stones activated.

No comments:

Post a Comment